Lemon Aid
by Sweet-kat-87
Summary: Santana and Rachel conspire to unpress our favorite Lemon. Rated M for language and later chapters. Will become a Faberry fic with Pezberry and Quintana friendships.
1. Lemon Location

**A/N please read the above summary before referring to myself in a negative fashion. Faberry will happen in a romantic sense in this fic but not for a few more chapters, the ONLY Pezberry that will be in this story is a platonic and slightly demonic friendship. Who's the Dumbass now George?**

**Also as always I in no way, shape or form claim any ownership to Glee or its characters they all belong to RIB.**

* * *

_"She's doing WHAT?!"_

Santana pulled the phone away from her ear a second too late as the diva on the other end started shrieking and ranting at her in Yiddish.

"Whoa Berry slow your vegan spring roll, you're making the dogs in the next town over howl in pain! Look I know it came as a shock to me too, considering that announcement was preceded by her attendance at Jodi Foster's Clam Bake, I was totes thinking that she finally un-pressed that massive lemon of hers and was about to ask me to go with her to a Melissa Etheridge concert or something, but no she's pulling yet another WASP 101 cliché and…damn it Berry! I knew being your friend was a mistake! Now you've got me rambling on and on, like your midget ass!"

_"…"_

"Berry you still there?"

_"…"_

"BERRY!"

_"Sorry Santana, I'm still stuck on the imagery caused by the idea of a Jodi Foster Clam Bake."_

Santana let out an undignified snort before giggling into the phone. "I know right?! I haven't had that many gay jokes pop into my head at once since junior year!"

_"So this perverted adulterous professor of hers is sixteen years her senior correct?"_

"Yep."

_"So why didn't you just reference Noah to put the situation into perspective for her?"_

"…Que?"

_"Noah is sixteen years older than Beth, why didn't you just ask her if she would be okay with Beth dating someone Noah's age when she's eighteen?"_

"Huh…that's a good point but I would have thought you'd consider bringing up Beth to be a little below the belt Berry."

_"I've learned over many years of trying to reach Quinn Fabray that sometimes you need to give her a proverbial kick in the pants. I didn't spend the better part of four years trying to get her to believe she deserved and was capable of so much more than what that family, and I use that term loosely, of hers brainwashed her into thinking."_

"Like what?"

_"Going after Finn, outing the paternity of her child, trying to keep her from Noah, pushing her towards Sam, the bathroom incident at Junior Prom, trying to get her away from Finn yet again, reaching out to her time and again when she joined the Skanks, supporting her in her decisions to apply to Yale and rejoin the Cheerios. I mean take your pick Lopez."_

"Oh bullshit! You went after Finn for yourself!"

_"No I didn't, I'll admit that I originally went after him to keep him in Glee, but then once you, Quinn, and Brittany joined as well, I continued to try to keep him from her because I realized what a complete imbecile he was, he may have been Captain of the football team and quarterback but he was a terrible athlete, that boy is destined to live the rest of his life in Lima. I did eventually fall for him, keep in mind that I had zero self-esteem at the time and for pretty much the entirety of our on again off again relationship, which is in large part thanks to the three of you, but I knew that Finn Hudson would keep Quinn in Lima and I just couldn't let that stand."_

"Why do you care so much about what happens to Quinn?"

Rachel pulled the phone away to stare at it incredulously a moment before responding to the question._ "I've had a crush on Quinn since she and her family moved to Lima, I would have assumed that by this point that would have been fairly obvious."_

"I KNEW IT!" Rachel could actually hear her friend fist pumping and smirking over the phone.

_"Don't get so cocky Lopez, Brittany and Kurt guessed it first. I'm actually surprised that comment at prom was the first time you ever said anything about it in front of me."_

"Wait B and Hummel knew before I did?"

_"Brittany knew first day of freshman year, and Kurt guessed after the 'Keep Holding On' performance."_

"You do know that Q's been lady lusting after you for at least that long right?"

_"First day freshman year actually, Brittany actually told me in a very Brittany like manner."_

Santana allowed a fond smile over what that would have entailed, something involving Charity's attempt to join the Latin Queens no doubt. "Why didn't you just chase after her instead of Hudson?"

Rachel rolled her eyes so hard you'd have thought she was channeling the Latina herself_. "Really Santana, how well do you think that would have gone? Keep in mind she started tormenting me__** after**__ finding out I had two dads and started dating Finn that same day."_

"…Fair point, that would have pushed her so deep into the Narnia that she wouldn't have even accepted me and B's relationship much less Hummel or anyone else. Not to mention she would have gotten preggers _waaaaay_ before sophomore year."

_"I'm willing to bet that actually did play some part in her losing her virginity to Noah. Now that's not to say that her deeply ingrained insecurities about her weight and appearance helped matters but that couldn't have been all of it." _

"So you're an Indigo Girl?"

_"No I'm pan-sexual; I fall for the person not the gender or physical attributes."_

"Are you for real?"

_"Finn, Noah, Jessie, Mr. Schue, Brody, Blaine, Brittany, Tina, Quinn, you…I don't exactly have a type besides singer do I?"_

"Me?"

_"Have you seen you?"_

"True story Berry Forever"

_"I love that movie! Hang on a second."_ Santana can hear Rachel yelling to Kurt that they were going to have a Porky's night next week. _"Anyway to recap, I like Quinn, Quinn likes me, everybody with even a hint of gaydar can see it, and something caused Quinn to majorly back slide into her default WASP mode. Looks like I'm going to have to finally make use of those Metro North passes she gave me."_

"Wait hold up! She told us that you bought them and have bugged her to come up since school started, and that you email her every week!"

_"Yeah, reverse that and you'd have the real story, although I do respond to her emails every week but not once has she mentioned dating anyone much less a married professor."_

"Well how are you going to handle it?"

_"The only way to get Quinn to respond honestly to anything, jealousy, I've been offered a role that involves a topless scene and will tell her all about how wonderful Brody is being about helping me rehearse in the privacy of my loft in deference to my modesty."_

"That…I have no words Rachel. I don't think I have ever been prouder of you. That's pure evil and will make Quinn flip her shit! She may take you right there."

_"Promises promises Santana, but I'm surprised that you would doubt me after the Sunshine Incident."_

"Oh yea, why weren't we friends long before this?"

"_I don't know, we would have literally taken over the world by now if we had been. Anywho I am going to let you go as I have some packing to do and I will let you know how everything turns out."_

"Sure Berry talk at ya later."

TBC


	2. Who's brain is fueled by LEMONS!

**A/N Wow you guys thanks for the amazing show of support so far, hopefully this chapter, which will be Quinn centric, won't disappoint and so without further ado I now present you with a look into the unsurprisingly tart mind of Lucy Quinn Fabray.**

**Also as always I in no way, shape, or form claim any ownership of Glee or its characters they all belong to RIB.**

* * *

Previously on Lemon Aid

_"…I do respond to her emails every week but not once has she mentioned dating anyone much less a married professor."_

_"Well how are you going to handle it?"_

_"The only way to get Quinn to respond honestly to anything, jealousy…"_

* * *

Glancing at the clock Lucy Quinn Fabray smirks to herself, and begins to prepare for her quest's arrival.

_'5:38, I still have two hours and twenty two minutes before my perfect boyfriend arrives for our __**study session**__.' _A coy giggle escapes the former HBIC now Yale students lips as she thinks back on their previous study sessions, _'They may not last very long but at least every time is considerably better than it ever was with __**Hudson**__,_' A shudder of disgust rips through Quinn's shoulders as she remembers exactly how flabby those man boobs were. _'And while I may not remember much of Puck, I'd rather be surrounded by residual cherry pipe tobacco smoke to suffocating to death from axe body spray anytime.'_ Quinn allows a brief moment to consider how much she prefers the combination of someone else's sweet vanilla scent with her own strawberry perfume before squashing that line of thinking like a cockroach. _'Right Fabray, you still need to cook, shower, do your hair and make-up, dress in suitable __**study**__ attire, and prepare his brandy and pipe before he gets here so hop to it!'_

As she checks on the roast she started the night before, Quinn is reminded of how her mother flitted to and fro in the kitchen each day of her youth in preparation for her father's arrival and an unconscious scowl takes over her face. _'No, I'm nothing like __**them**__, Paul is not a bigoted alcoholic and I am not a spineless Stepford clone who allowed said scotch soaked Neo-Nazi to throw her pregnant child out with nothing because I would rather live in my fantasy bubble than be an actual mother to my youngest child!' _Quinn slams her fist onto the counter before taking a deep breath and counting to ten the turns and starts making her way into the bathroom. _'Two hours six minutes.'_

After showering, setting her hair into the elegant updo that Paul prefers, dressing in her newest silk negligee with matching robe, and misting herself with her favorite strawberry perfume; Quinn goes about ensuring every last detail is perfect for her catch of a professor. _'And now for the pièce de résistance a little Tchaikovsky for ambiance, there perfect.'_ As Quinn settles down to wait out the remaining half hour she checks the facebook statues of her favorite former Gleeks. _'Hmm so Brittany and Sam did survive the Mayan Apocalypse and they aren't legally married, __**thank God **__**for that**, Santana would have sacrificed Sam on an altar in the choir room if that had been true. Not that she really has the right of course; she's the one who broke up with Britt-Britt after all leaving her a free agent who can get with whomever she so chooses, not that Sam's much better, "I always liked you indeed", was that before or after you borderline stalked me for months and tried to get Cedes to dump her boyfriend for you senior year? __**Ass!**__'_

Quinn quickly checks the time before moving on the last person's status, a status she desperately tries to avoid but it's like heroin to her, the pull is too strong and like every other night she succumbs and gives into the temptation that is Rachel Berry. _'I just want to make sure she's doing well, after the hell I put her through in high school the least I can do is make sure she doesn't surround herself with the same succubae type people who alternated between riding on her coattails and her ass for three years of Glee. There's something about this Brody guy…he seems like the worst combination of Puck and St. Jackass imaginable, encouraged Rachel to end her relationship with Finn so that she'd be available but refuses to commit to her. God! What is it with Rachel having the absolute __**worst**__ taste in men?!' _Quinn rolled her eyes before flicking through old pictures from glee club, smiling softly at those that were just her and Rachel. Checking the time again she frowns realizing that Paul is late, again. _'Why can't people be punctual? Is it really that hard to be where you say you're going to be when you say you're going to be there! That was always the best thing about Rach, she was always on time to the second, you could set your watch to Berry Standard time and never be late again. But then again Rachel Berry was just a high school student and not an Ivy League professor, so I can't exactly hold them to the same kind of standards now can I?'_

Three quick knocks interrupted Quinn's train of thought and she excitedly made her way to the front door teasingly opening her silk robe just a tad as punishment for her naughty professor. Quinn opens the door with a smirk before husking out, "Baby, here you are I was starting to get worried you forgot about…me. Ra-Rachel?"

TBC


	3. Wheezin' the Juice

**A/N: Sorry for the long break between updates, I have been lacking inspiration and didn't want to give you guys just any old crappy update or filler chapter. But the good news is my writers block from ****_Working Title_**** is now gone so that story has two new chapters in addition to the two for this update; so now the continuing saga of our Berry Blue and Sunkist Lemon Jelly Belly's.**

**Also as always I in no way, shape, or form claim any ownership of Glee or its characters they all belong to RIB. Or Jelly Belly's.**

Previously on Lemon Aid

_"Baby, here you are I was starting to get worried you forgot about…me. Ra-Rachel?"_

* * *

Did you ever learn about ancient Greek mythology in school? No? Well one of the common themes was that humans were incapable of seeing the Gods and Goddesses in their true form because the sight of their overwhelming perfection was too much for the fragile human mind to comprehend and it would kill them. My point you ask? Well…I feel your pain ancient Greeks; I thought I had seen Quinn at her finest before, I've lived through Head Cheerio HBIC Quinn, Carwash Quinn, Radiant Pregnant Quinn, Prom Queen Quinn, Innocent Sundress Quinn, and Dangerous Punk Quinn, I've even seen Quinn in various states of undress due to Glee Club costume changes and gym before but no, **_seriously,_** I didn't know anything. A husky voiced seductive negligee wearing Quinn…hell to the no! Tap out; I'm done, **broken** beyond repair for anyone else, **_ever_**. Oh sweet merciful Moses, I am legitimately salivating which is amazing because I didn't thinking I had enough moisture left in the upper half of my body to accomplish that feat.

* * *

**'…'**

_'Rachel…'_

**'Rachel Berry…'**

_'Rachel Berry is here…'_

**'Rachel Berry ishere and I am gaping like a fish in the doorway…oh and I'm only wearing a negligee with the world's shortest robe covering me. And she's looking at me like that, Oh God…why is she looking at me like that; it looks like she wants to…eat me?'**

_'GOD! __***shiver* **__Rachel Barbra Berry looks like she wants to eat me, hmm…now where did I put the salt and pepper?'_

**'NO! Bad Quinn! Rein it in! You made it through four years of high school suffering through those equally damned and blessed skirts, those naughty knee-highs, her Britney look, Kurt's makeover, booty shorts, dozens of revealing Glee outfits, having to change near her in gym and listening to that unbelievably sexy/angelic voice day in and day out! Be strong Quinn!'**

_'Sorry, sorry you are absolutely right we can certainly handle a surprise visit where she's wearing a knee length pea coat and what appear to be thigh high boots…I can't tell if she's wearing anything else…OH GOD SHE MAY NOT BE WEARING ANYTHING ELSE!'_

**'…Well if that's the case then we are dreaming because we fell asleep waiting for Paul, so I say go for it.'**

_'…Really?'_

**'Why not, it's not like we haven't had this dream before. If anything we actually may get to have an orgasm with Paul tonight by enjoying this now.'**

_'So true Lucy Q, mmmm Rachel Berry it has been far too long.'_

* * *

_'Did she just lick her lips?'_

**'Oh my FUCKING God, she did! Not to mention her chest is heaving and those lovely hazel eyes are blacker than Santana's heart.'**

_'She wants me…she wants me just as bad and she's not being shy about that fact…shit what about the plan?'_

"Oh fuck Rachel, what took you so long baby?"

***shudder***

**_'FUCK THE PLAN!'_**

"God Quinn!"

TBC


	4. When life hands you Lemons

**AN: Sorry that last chapter was so short, please don't kill me. I swear I ended it where I did for a reason, a reason this chapter will explain, but you had to know that there is no way Faberry would be happening so easy, Quinn is a hell of a pressed lemon after all. This chapter will have Quintana because I love writing and coming up with insults for stories and they are the perfect dynamic to exercise that desire in, plus so much more.**

**Also as always I in no way, shape, or form claim any ownership of Glee or its characters they all belong to RIB.**

Previously on Lemon Aide

_"Rachel Barbra Berry looks like she wants to eat me, hmm…now where did I put the salt and pepper?"_

* * *

_"And then what happened?" _The Latina could hear rustling noises in the background and didn't know whether to pray to God Berry had left already or to be impressed they still had the endurance to continue their activities.

"Oh my God San, why are you so invested in this; seriously what's your angle?"

_"Are you fucking kidding me Q? For four long years I have had to listen to you bitch and moan about Berry, now I finally get to hear about how you moaned out Berry!"_

At this the normally stoic blonde blushed, thus ruining her perfect poker face, she could only think it was by the grace of God she had the foresight not to Skype this conversation with her fiery friend and quickly resumed her task."Ugh, must you be so crass San?"

_"My sex life is currently as dry as the Sahara right now, since B and I decided to 'just be friends' so yea! I must Quinn! Now Q, I wants all the dirty deets and I wants um now!"_

"Your dad's a doctor San! We lived in the same neighborhood! You are not a gangster!"

At this Santana could only roll her eyes and sneer with disgust, _"It's 'sta', GANG-STA Quinnie not 'ster', I swear to God you could not be more white if I dropped you into a vat of Clorox!"_

"**So** sorry I did not absorb your faux ghetto fabulousness and melanin content by osmosis Santana, I don't know **how **you have been able to stand it all these years! Oh you poor girl you…tut-tut...there-there." Quinn trailed off with a bored tone, already exhausted by the exchange, and apparently very distracted by it; did she not pack any underwear?

_"See, now there's my Quewpie doll. I wondered where your passive aggressiveness had scampered off to, for a second there I thought Yale had eliminated your ability to speak sarcastic haughty bitch."_

"Are you kidding as a WASP it's my first language, you know, like how yours is conniving jealous vindictive slut...**there** they are I've been looking for these earrings for a week!"

The Latina cracked a smile at this; she had missed pre-preggers Quinn so much, the baby and Berry had made her soft and melted the Ice Queen, speaking of getting all melty over Berry. _"So you didn't taste her sweet Berry juice then."_

Quinn actually stopped packing at that, "How could you possibly…"

_"Know that? Was that where you were shuffling off to Buffalo to? Hmmm let's see, maybe because I haven't heard you release that much venom since your lizard baby hormones had you all revved up with no-one to do back in high school. You aren't a hard read Mother Inferior…ay dios mio! You ruined it didn't you! Damn it Q! Juro por Dios que si te hizo llorar Berry, voy a reemplazar sus preciosos pequeños símbolos WASP sociedad secreta con su propio cráneo y huesos!"_

"Save it S! I know okay! I know I fucked up but I'm going to fix it! I swear I'll fix it! I have to fix it!" At this Quinn Ice Queen Fabray's mask of indifference finally fell down, broken as always by Rachel Berry, and she started to hyperventilate. "Oh God San what if I can't fix! Four years, **FOUR YEARS** I've been waiting for a shot at her San, and I completely blew it! I can't lose her San; I just can't, not now, not when I finally, **finally** know what it's like too…Oh God!"

At hearing one of her oldest friends breaking down, the Latina can't help but feel a sympathetic twinge of guilt for egging her on, but as she knows from her own personal history it's the only way to get through to the blonde. _"Shhh be still hermosa, estoy cariño lo siento, no fue mi intención hacerte llorar. Please don't cry, I'll help you get her back I promise!"_

After taking a few minutes to calm back down Quinn meekly questions the sincerity her sometimes frenemy. _"Oh course mi hermosa, I've been there remember, nothing hurts more than finally letting yourself acknowledge just how much someone means to you only to lose them to your own stupidity and cowardice. But first I need to know exactly what went down because Berry has put up with a lot with you, for you, and over you not to mention how much she sacrificed for you over the years and she ain't gonna let you off the hook that easy."_

"I know San, and I appreciate it, just give me a minute and try not to kill me through the phone until I explain everything to you. She's not the only one that's hurting right now, I have enough self hate going on I don't need you to hate on me too." *Sigh* "Okay here's what happened."

TBC

* * *

"I swear to God, if you hurt Berry, I will replace your precious little WASP secret society symbols with your own Skull and Bones!"

"Shhh be still beautiful, I'm sorry honey, I did not mean to make you cry..."


	5. It's a Bittersweet Symphony

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY! Huge delay in posting I know, but I've had a helluva time writing on this chapter solely because I didn't know how far the girls should go, and how big Quinn's reaction could be without it being utterly ridiculous to the point of crackish (which is how one draft did come out) or so cruel that you guys would no longer want Quinn to get the girl (which is how the third attempt ended), so hopefully this will be a happy medium, and by happy medium I mean wishing Santana would make a guest appearance so she could rip Quinn's head out of her lily white ass. *Note Santana does not make an appearance.* Anyway please enjoy and I plan on having this wrapped up in two more installments.**

**Also as always I in no way, shape, or form claim any ownership of Glee or its characters they all belong to RIB.**

Previously on Lemon Aide

_*Sigh* "Okay here's what happened."_

* * *

Four years of repressed longing, lust and love caused the girls to rip into each other like lions into a fresh carcass in the Serengeti. It wasn't soft, and it wasn't sweet; it was a clash of passion, need, desire, pain, anger, fear, lips, tongues, and teeth. Hands were everywhere at once and Rachel had barely kicked the door closed before Quinn had slammed her into it, knocking the wind out of her in a pained gasp that allowed the blonde to dominate her desperate lovers' mouth with a greedy and searching tongue. _'__**God**__, it really has been too long, I can't even remember the last time it felt so real. I am going to be soaked by the time Paul finally shows up.'_

As cool hands busied themselves with frantically unbuttoning her coat, Rachel threaded her fingers through silken blonde locks desperately searching for something to ground her after relieving Quinn of her robe.

_'Oh god it's even better than I imagined.'_

**'Does this seem a too little easy to you? Rach? RACHEL!'**

_'__**WHAT?!**__ I'm a little busy right now being absolutely __**ravished**__ by the woman of our dreams!'_

**'Exactly my point! "Fuck Rachel, what took you so long baby?" what the hell is she talking about? It's not like she knew we were coming! Besides she was clearly-'**

"Oh _God!_ **Yes**, right there Quinn!"

**'…Ehem, clearly expecting someone else to knock on her door tonight not us, so what's with the salacious welcome?'**

***DING***

"Ugh! Damn it! Sorry baby I'll be right back, I just have to get the lasagna out before it burns." With herculean strength the blonde pulled herself off of the disheveled diva and made her way into the kitchen. "So baby how was rehearsal?" At receiving no response the girl tried to gain the attention of her lover again, "Babe?"

After blinking a few times to clear away the haze of arousal Rachel finally processed what she had been asked. _'What the __**actual**__ fuck?'_ "Uh…Quinn? What are you talking about? What rehearsal?"

_'Hmm that's odd why else would she be coming home at dinner time, usually in this one she's just getting out of rehearsal for her latest show…maybe she's been doing interviews in this one? Oh well, it's worth a shot?'_

"Oh I'm so sorry sweetie, apparently I am a little scatter brained tonight; I meant your interviews."

**'Told you it was too good to be true, Quinn isn't over come with lust, she has clearly just lost her mind.'**

_'Damn.'_

"Quinn I am not really sure what you are talking about I came down from New York using the Metro North Pass you gave me. I apologize for dropping by unannounced but I just felt like it had been so long…"

The blonde is only half listening to her friend as she gapes at what comes out of the oven, first in confusion _'Why the hell would I make a roast for me and Rachel?'_, then in repressed horror, _'Oh. __**My. **_**FUCKING****_. _**_God! It's not a dream! I just mauled Rachel Freaking Berry against my apartment door and Paul is due to show up any time now, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I need to get her out of here, like now! No matter what it takes Quinn, get rid of her! Repress and remove now!'_

"Rach…"

"…and as much as I find myself a little confused by your reaction my surprise visit…"

"Rachel."

"…I cannot deny that I was thoroughly enjoying…"

**"RACHEL!"**

Rachel had been vaguely aware of the fact that Quinn was trying to get her attention but once she gets into Rachel Berry rant mode only a few things can snap her out of it, and one of those things just so happens to be the HBIC tone that only Quinn was able to perfect and decided to use on her right now. So it should come as a shock to no one that the little diva jumped almost a foot in the air out of fear and immediately shut up, well at least outside of her head. _'Oh sweet Barbra this is going to be __**really**__ bad…'_

"Oh look at that it **can** stop talking."

_'Oh goody, we are back to being an __**"it"**__.'_

"Now, I don't know what made you think it would be acceptable for you to show up out of the blue uninvited at my doorstep, or why you proceeded to maul me as soon as I opened the door, and quite frankly I'm all out of give a damn at the moment and you aren't worth the effort for me to care."

_'Okay that hurt…why hello pre-pregnancy Quinn, long time no see. Ugh seriously just kill me now.'_

"So here's what is going to happen, you are going to pick that trashy coat of yours up off my floor, turn around, walk out that door and out of my life forever. When I bought you those pity tickets that was not an opening for you to put your man-hands all over me, it was guilt money to make up for the all the bullying and shunning I did to you over the years, and in case you were wondering? What just happened is exactly why I turned down your offers for _'friendship'_ so many times over the years." The icy and cruel blonde was having an incredibly hard time keeping up the vicious façade as she watched what it was doing to the one person in this world she loved as much as her daughter. But she stiffened her resolve and told herself that it had to be done, because if she let Rachel close only to lose her too; that would be the end of Quinn Fabray, she'd never be able to love anything again. So she pressed on even though it killed her to watch as her words yet again torn down and destroyed the only person she had ever and would her fall in love with. "I just knew that you being the pathetic desperate freak that you are would latch onto me and think that there was more between us than there really was; it's what happened to Finn, Puck, Blaine and what happened with Jesse right? You were just so desperate for anyone to want you that you actually deluded yourself into thinking that he was into you, went it was obvious to everyone, even Finn, moron that he is; that he was just using you. For fucks sake Berry even your own mother didn't-"

***Click***

One smooth motion and just like that the HBIC was victorious, she got exactly what she asked for; Rachel Berry had picked up her coat, turned around, walked out of the door and out of the desperate and corned girl's life forever. But instead of being happy that yet again she had claimed victory over those damned butterflies, she felt heartbroken and shattered because she knew she had just lost the best thing that would ever happen to her before she even got the chance to have it, and she was left broken beyond repair for anyone else ever.

***Beep***

The solemn girl picked up her phone, arched an indifferent brow at the placating message she received and texted her "boyfriend" not to waste his time coming over, that they were done and if he ever bothered her again she would go to the university and tell them exactly what he had been doing with the coeds after office hours. She then emailed his wife to tell her exactly what had been going behind her back, including where he was hiding his assets. Once both were sent, she hated herself a little less than she had before because at least she would be hurting one less person now. She grabbed the prepared glass of brandy and the bottle before dumping them both down the sink, threw out the roast, shut off the music, and crawled into bed. Just before exhaustion took her, she had one final thought, _'Santana is going to kill me.'_

TBC


	6. Take a Pitcher

**A/N: Short chapter update and after the next one the story line will be complete. I hope you don't hate Quinn too much like I said previously it was hard to find the balance in the last chapter and that was as close as I got to the tone I was hoping for. So don't judge her too harshly and keep in mind Rachel and Santana are the only ones who really know her true heart. This one is the continuation of the phone call between Quinn and Santana and paves the path for Quinn's redemption.**

**Also as always I in no way, shape, or form claim any ownership of Glee or its characters they all belong to RIB.**

Previously on Lemon Aide

_Just before exhaustion took her, she had one final thought, 'Santana is going to kill me.'_

* * *

"You were absolutely right Quinn."

_"What?"_

"I **am** going to kill you. Not ends mind you, oh no! I am actually going to **_kill you_** and they will never find the body. Wanna know why?"

_"Uh…not rea-"_

"I'll **fucking** tell you why! Not only am I already on my to New York and going to have to swallow my pride by asking Rachel and Kurt for a place to stay, now I have to put back together a broken Berry when I get there and do you know what that entails? _Hmm __**do you**__ Q?_ I'll tell you! Barbra **Fucking** Streisand! I am going to have to watch her **entire** Barbra collection while she gets her hobbit tears all over me! And I just now that Lady Pants will be busting out the waterworks as well over Warblers but that's **not** the worst part! Oh no! **_The worst part_** Fabray is that **I'll **wind up crying too because of how much I miss Britts and how stupid I was to let her go! So my badass street-cred? Shot to hell and all because you are a massive lemon!"

_"San?"_

"No Quinn! I sat quiet throughout that **entire** fucking story, so now it's my turn to talk! Got that?"

_"Yes"_

**"**Oh how _kind_ of you, but that was totes a _rhetorical_** fucking** question Q! And just what the fuck are you looking at bitch? That's right walk away pussy! Ehem…now where was I? Ah yes, I was about to tell you why, even though you are the least deserving bitch in the world, you are also the fucking luckiest! Ask me why you're lucky Q."

_"Why-"_

"Because I am going to still help your pathetic repressed out even after knowing what kind of bullshit you just pulled with my girl!"

_"Your girl huh?"_

"Yes Quinn. **MY** fucking girl, now put that eyebrow down I can hear you arching it over the phone! After everything I put her through that girl has always stood by me and believed in me, sound familiar? That makes that bitch family in my book, her and Little Lord Fauntleroy both are, so she is my girl and he is my boy, which makes you are lucky as hell I love you too, even if it's just in a 'we are so similar that killing you would be like committing suicide' kind of way, and that I love myself to much to end my own life; ergo I love you too much to kill your lily white ass even though you totes have it coming. Instead I am still gonna help you make it right but you have to do exactly as I say."

**_"Anything!"_**

"Okay first off, whatever white knight plans you've got brewing up in that bleached head of yours? _No me gusta_, stay away from New York for awhile and don't go drowning Rachel with 'I'm sorry' messages, texts, and emails. She deserves to hear it in person and if you come up now she won't really hear it, and even if she miraculously did I would beat the white out of you for getting the girl without having worked for it."

_"__**Soooo**__ glad I called you first because I was going to ask you to listen to the apology email I wrote and get your opinion on it, but I'll just delete that now, not mail that book of poetry I wrote about her, cancel the three dozen stargazer lilies I ordered, and unpack. It is a little scary how well you know me Santana."_

"Years of practice Q."

_"So how __**do**__ I go about earning her forgiveness and maybe one day even get the chance to be with her?"_

"Well I am glad you asked Q. You know how Mr. Schue's wedding is coming up?"

TBC

* * *

**A/N: Do you see where I'm going with this? **


End file.
